Most of our fun and authenticity comes from the stuff we’re not supposed to be doing.
Standout memories rarely revolve around responsible, “smart” things like studying hard, paying bills, working long hours and using logic. They’re born of envelope-pushing, risky, emotion-stirring things. Most of what makes meaning and shapes us as people happens when we’re outside the box, pushing limits… not doing the safe, sensible, “smart” thing.
It’s weird because society constantly shouts at us that this sensible stuff is what “wins” in the end. That if you’re “smart” you’ll preempt life by trying to get out in front of it. That by sacrificing enjoyment of the present to improve your potential future things will eventually just all work out on their own, and when they do you’ll end up better off than most. That this thinking is somehow wisdom – the natural end point of maturity after enough life experience.
…But not really. That’s one-dimensional thinking. It’s not that it’s wrong per se… but it’s not really right. It ignores stage of life context and skips a lot of important steps – the ones that create a fully-realized individual who’s more than simply the sum of their work and knowledge.
The sensible approach is great for the logistics & requirements parts of life. Obviously you gotta take care of business to pay the bills and fuel the fun. But this stuff is merely life’s enabler. It sets the stage, but it isn’t what delivers the performance.
There’s a legit danger here. Only having your business handled without delivering the performance = boring = social death. This is the sad fate of millions who’ve made the mistake of over-emphasizing the logistical parts of their life. They’ve checked every box society’s told them to, so on-paper they’re great. Yet often something’s just… missing.
What’s missing is their ability to be truly present in the moment. The realness and depth that viscerally draws other people to you regardless of wealth or status. The street cred that comes from walking on the wild side.
The real value-add of a person to most other people is their ability to create fun and stimulation at any time, in any place and under any circumstances. This usually comes from the accumulation of entertaining stories and a deep, honed social skill set resulting from the fun experiences that created those stories. And most of these come from vice-fueled adventures.
Think about it: Would you rather go to a dinner or party where people talk at length about their jobs or logistics like errands and home maintenance? Or a dinner/party where people are talking silly-but-mood-elevating nonsense and interspersing it with crazy stories that involve emotion-stoking, thought-provoking details?
Exactly.
There’s a reason a majority of characters in media are colorful, flaw-focused characters. Media’s produced by the entertainment industry, and the core purpose of all forms of entertainment is to elicit emotion. Good, safe behavior tends not to do that.
So goes social value in real life.